My wandering mind is having a hard time settling, as I said in my earlier post...so I thought I'd ramble a little on my blog today. I try to stick to a theme in my posts but not this one, and not the ones that follow with the title "random thoughts". Sometimes a girl's just gotta "talk".
Why won't Emma potty train? When we have the potty conversation she looks at me with such disdain I can already see how she'll look at 15 when I hand down a curfew. Of the 5 kids, she is the only one still in diapers at this age and the only one who has no interest whatsoever in getting out of said diapers. I try to be quite liberal about this..I pushed Chase and we struggled then right after he turned 3 it was like a switch was flipped and that was that. I swore after that that I'd let the kids clue me as to when they're ready to get out of diapers and it hasn't failed me...until now. I know I know...no one has ever gone to college in diaper (with a binky, holding a bottle) but still...I'VE had enough of diapers so I wish she'd catch up with me here...
I co-signed for a bike for Chase. In bike I mean motorcycle. In motorcycle I mean a street legal dirt bike (1 cylinder, max speed of 80mph) and even though my mommy sensors are screaming, I was so pleased to be able to do this for him. After his car was totalled in an accident (another of his 9 lives...) he was completely at the whim of his dad and paternal grandparents, who have been wonderful at getting him around but I know at 20 that lack of independence was killing him. So I did it...He is so gloriously happy...I can't do alot for him but this I could do. It's very pretty as dirt bikes go and he is required to wear a helmet (by me and by law until 21) and he's fully insured (my law), and I just believe in him with this. I don't know why, I just do. It's HIS, he loves it, he's proud of it. It is so nice to see him so pleased...
I have lost 25 pounds since New Year's and I am shocked by this. I never get on the scale because it is so enormously depressing...I have never weighed as much as I did at Christmastime...then I started taking Chantix again to quit the dabbling in smoking I was doing and it not only wrecks my craving to smoke but it curbs my appetite. I noticed a change in the way my clothes fit so got warily on the scale and was so happy at the number I saw. I have quite a ways to go but it's a good start. I don't want to be skinny...it's too much work. I want to be healthy.
I have two people in my life dealing with major health issues. They run around in my mind all the time so I want them to know that they are there-in my thoughts. It is such an impotent rage I carry when someone I love is ill. I want to be able to fix it, and know I can't do a thing but pray and love them....and so I do...
Laura lost my engagement ring. I am being very diplomatic about it, but I am terribly disappointed. She saw it in my jewelry box when I was letting her look at my earrings a few months back and a week later I realized it was missing. At first she denied it (way too quickly, if you know what I mean)( but after some pressure she admitted to "throwing it under my bed" because she didn't want to get in trouble. Well, it's no where. I'm sure the vacuum has taken care of it long ago. It was such a pretty, nearly perfect, heart shaped diamond that sat so nicely above my wedding ring. But I have let this go. What am I going to do? Rage at the 7 year old? To what end? She knows we're upset. It's enough. But I still miss it.
We are going to Key West for spring break at the bneginning of April. We will stay at Patrik's sisters SECOND house. I haven't been to Key West since dad died and am looking forward to this trip with a mix of dread and pleasure. I know feelings will be triggered (yes, mom, I will go see Nara), but I think it'll be fun. I want to take the kids to sunset and for a ride on the glass bottomed boat. I want to eat at Blue Heaven while the chickens run around under the table. And I want to go to the house on Bougainvaillea, the last place my dad lived, and remember.
There. I feel better.
*wink*
72 degrees, sunny and cloudless in South Florida...
Why won't Emma potty train? When we have the potty conversation she looks at me with such disdain I can already see how she'll look at 15 when I hand down a curfew. Of the 5 kids, she is the only one still in diapers at this age and the only one who has no interest whatsoever in getting out of said diapers. I try to be quite liberal about this..I pushed Chase and we struggled then right after he turned 3 it was like a switch was flipped and that was that. I swore after that that I'd let the kids clue me as to when they're ready to get out of diapers and it hasn't failed me...until now. I know I know...no one has ever gone to college in diaper (with a binky, holding a bottle) but still...I'VE had enough of diapers so I wish she'd catch up with me here...
I co-signed for a bike for Chase. In bike I mean motorcycle. In motorcycle I mean a street legal dirt bike (1 cylinder, max speed of 80mph) and even though my mommy sensors are screaming, I was so pleased to be able to do this for him. After his car was totalled in an accident (another of his 9 lives...) he was completely at the whim of his dad and paternal grandparents, who have been wonderful at getting him around but I know at 20 that lack of independence was killing him. So I did it...He is so gloriously happy...I can't do alot for him but this I could do. It's very pretty as dirt bikes go and he is required to wear a helmet (by me and by law until 21) and he's fully insured (my law), and I just believe in him with this. I don't know why, I just do. It's HIS, he loves it, he's proud of it. It is so nice to see him so pleased...
I have lost 25 pounds since New Year's and I am shocked by this. I never get on the scale because it is so enormously depressing...I have never weighed as much as I did at Christmastime...then I started taking Chantix again to quit the dabbling in smoking I was doing and it not only wrecks my craving to smoke but it curbs my appetite. I noticed a change in the way my clothes fit so got warily on the scale and was so happy at the number I saw. I have quite a ways to go but it's a good start. I don't want to be skinny...it's too much work. I want to be healthy.
I have two people in my life dealing with major health issues. They run around in my mind all the time so I want them to know that they are there-in my thoughts. It is such an impotent rage I carry when someone I love is ill. I want to be able to fix it, and know I can't do a thing but pray and love them....and so I do...
Laura lost my engagement ring. I am being very diplomatic about it, but I am terribly disappointed. She saw it in my jewelry box when I was letting her look at my earrings a few months back and a week later I realized it was missing. At first she denied it (way too quickly, if you know what I mean)( but after some pressure she admitted to "throwing it under my bed" because she didn't want to get in trouble. Well, it's no where. I'm sure the vacuum has taken care of it long ago. It was such a pretty, nearly perfect, heart shaped diamond that sat so nicely above my wedding ring. But I have let this go. What am I going to do? Rage at the 7 year old? To what end? She knows we're upset. It's enough. But I still miss it.
We are going to Key West for spring break at the bneginning of April. We will stay at Patrik's sisters SECOND house. I haven't been to Key West since dad died and am looking forward to this trip with a mix of dread and pleasure. I know feelings will be triggered (yes, mom, I will go see Nara), but I think it'll be fun. I want to take the kids to sunset and for a ride on the glass bottomed boat. I want to eat at Blue Heaven while the chickens run around under the table. And I want to go to the house on Bougainvaillea, the last place my dad lived, and remember.
There. I feel better.
*wink*
72 degrees, sunny and cloudless in South Florida...
1 comment:
How nice to read your ramblings.
Emma is still so proud of her booster. She brought it up when we left Wendy's last night. I said, "I know Emma, you are growing up so fast." She said, "And I will wear Dora panties and be a big girl". She said something about diapers after that but I couldn't catch it all. She is thinking about the diaper situation so maybe start nudging her a little more.
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