On the morning of September 11, 2001, I was at work at Palm Beach Gardens Medical center. I was a nurse on the open-heart step-down unit and it started like any other Tuesday. I happened to walk into a patient's room just after they started broadcasting the strike of the first plane into the Twin Towers. I stood there and watched with my patient, both of us shocked that a plane could make such a mistake, could hit a building like that. Then the other plane hit and we both were stunned into silence. I remember saying, "That was deliberate." And I remeber a dread filling my very core.
As the events of that day transpired, my first thought was I had to get to my kids. Had to get Laura, who was only 1, from the sitter, and get Chris out of elementary school. I wanted to get them and lock myself in my house and never leave. Incidentally, I felt the same way after the Oklahoma City bombing. It is just such a primal thing, to keep our children safe from harm, protect them from the evils of the world.
There was such quiet on the unit at the hospital that day. We were terribly distracted, anxious, disbelieving. Of course, September 11th changed every American. We were suddenly united in a way I had not seen in my lifetime to that point. American flags soared everywhere. In the days that followed, we each of us sat in front of our televisions, unable to look away. I remember sitting on the floor of my home as the rescue attempt went on and on, and as the realization dawned that there would be very few survivors in the rubble, I wept. Like everyone else. As the television cameras panned across the great expanse of flyers and photos pinned up in New York City ("have you seen our loved one?"...), I wept some more. Like everyone else. And we we declared war, I was glad...like everyone else.
Somewhere along the way we have lost touch with the reasons of the war. I admit that I hold our presence in Iraq disdainfully. I would like us to get back to the job of finding those responsible for 9/11. But right now we are so caught up with other reasons for war, I fear that we may never return to the real reason for the war. Those evil men are still out there...and I want them caught. And yes, I also want them punished.
Even now, when I see clips of 9/11, I am transported back to that time and feel the exact same emotions....horror, sadness, even fear. I think that it is important that we move forward from the happenings of 9/11. But I think it is just as important that we remember. Always. It has indeed changed us all. I hope that in order to honor those that have fallen, it has changed us for the better.
We owe it to them- to find joy in the blessings of our lives, to prosper, to continue to stand together. We are all survivors of 9/11. So we owe it to ouselves, as well.
To never forget.
