It occurred to me the other day as I sat reading Elizabeth Berg's new novel "Home Safe" (lovely, as I find all of her work) that I have never told the girls the story about how their dad and I met. And then I went on to realize that I wasn't even sure about how MY parents met. I think this is important. It reminds children that mom and dad were young once, that things weren't always about paying the bills and keeping the house in relative order, about who should do the dishes next or when the oil in the car needs changed. Every happily married couple had a starting point. A point when there was looking at each other through eyelashes and blushing at compliments or secrets revealed. A point where simply holding hands was the pinnacle of bliss. A point where you realize that this may actually be the ONE.
I worked at a touristy shop off the lobby of the La Concha Hotel on Duval St in Key West. I didn't work FOR my dad, but he was the general manager of the hotel itself so I saw him occaisionally. Patrik, however, DID work for my dad. He was a bellman. I had noticed him from time to time, in his shorts and La Concha polo. The longer I worked there, though, I NOTICED him. And I knew my dad would not think well of my being attracted to someone that worked for him. Still, some things just are what they are.
I spent my days in nursing school. I had NO intention whatsoever of getting into a relationship. I was there to get thru school and return to Jupiter. I had needed my parents help to do this...full time college was impossible on my own. I worked in the gift shop part time on some evenings and some days on weekends. It was these days that I saw Patrik more often and began to realize that I was looking forward to seeing him. I figured he had no idea who I was. We didn't work for the same people and only bumped into each other in the break room. As time passed I got brave. Really brave, for me. One day I left a note on his podium that I would like to get to know him better but that he probably shouldn't let on about it, since, you know, dad and all. I was nervous but giddy at the same time. I kept peeking out from the gift shop so I could see him read that note. My palms sweat. My heart pounded. Would he just throw it away? Think I'm nuts? Be unable to place who I was?
But no. None of these. He read the note, and his face lit up like Christmas day. Huh. I ducked back into the gift shop and wondered what would happen next. Later that afternoon Patrik walked into the shop adn I felt myself turn 10 shades of blush. The other girls I worked with were grinning so hard I thought their faces would crack. Patrik serenely asked me if I coud take a break and my coworkers practically pushed me out the door.
This was the beginning. We talked and laughed and I blushed some more. We agreed that dad probably shouldn't know, at least right away. I didn't want Patrik to be treated any differently. We met after work for a few drinks at Rick's bar and started the slow task of getting to know each other. A few weeks later, when I realized what I had (a boyfriend! a serious one) I told dad and he said "It has to be someone who works for me?" and I grinned and said "Yeah." And of course it was fine.
Patrik was home to me like no other man had ever been. We certianly have had our moments. But ours is a hugely steady love. When I about 9 months from graduation and the prospect of moving back to Jupiter, I told him plainly that I would be leaving. That if he intended to join me, there must be a commitment involved. A ring. I had Chris to think about and I wasn't the type of person to just move in with someone. Less than a month later Patrik got down on one knee and proposed. We actually didn't intend to get married before we moved. But his mother was going back to Slovakia and we were unsure of when she would return. It was important to both of us that she was at our wedding. So a month before graduation, we were married in what I consider the best wedding I've ever been to. It was perfect. I wouldn't have changed a thing.
We started out like schoolkids, with the nerves and the hesitation and the whole getting to know you thing. Everyone does. It was glorious and I want the girls to know that. I was head over heels for their dad, and he was smitten with me (poor guy! LOL). We fit. Where I am laid back to the point of being carefree, he plans things and gets things done. Where I am perfectly happy being the neighborhood hermit, he is a social butterfly. But this one thing we have in sync- our family is unquestionably the most important thing in our lives. Not just the kids, but each other. Our parents and siblings. In this there is no divide. We are united.
It all started with a note. The rest, as they say, is history. And right here and now.
